Have you felt disappointment and anger against your own body? Have you felt frustrated because your body has not responded, or acted like you wanted before or during infertility treatment?
I will tell you about a previous patient of mine and give you some advice to help you.
I remember her well; a young beautiful woman, 30 years old, sitting in front of me holding her head in her hands. She was crying. She had just found out that she had come into menopause at very young age. The doctor had told her that it was no chance for her to become pregnant with her own eggs. It was too late. No repeat button to push...
She told me that she was so angry with her body; a body that didn’t work, a body with no useful eggs!
She had lost her chance to become a mother to her genetic child, without not even knowing this. She thought everything was ok when she and her husband started to plan the pregnancy. Now everything was changed, and suddenly they found themselves in a totally unexpected situation. Egg donation was their only chance to experience the pregnancy they were both longings for.
She asked her selves:
“What have I done to deserve a body like this?”
This is a normal question I hear from women, that has been through several IVF attempts with not yet a result; they blame their bodies.
They have divided themselves into two different pieces, one is the head, and the other one is the body. Their head is having a battle with the body.
Normally you may feel that you can affect your body with your lifestyle and how you think. You affect your feelings by the way you think, you affect your body by the way you exercise and eat.
Infertility patients often find themselves in a situation where they are not able to affect their bodies; how they think, eat or exercise cannot alone make them pregnant. They find themselves in a situation where they no longer just need to trust and help themselves, they need to trust and they need help from doctors.
Some advice from me:
- Negative thoughts on your body, will not increase your chances of pregnancy.
- You need to accept your lack of control in this situation. You can not affect every cell in your body by the way you live your life.
- Your body is the finest instrument, and you have more alternatives to choose from when it comes to infertility treatment. You have several alternatives to choose from to fulfill your dreams of pregnancy.
- Treat your selves in a nice way! Talk and think nicely about your selves, remember that your body will do its best to fulfill your dream; you only need some professional help.
I was supporting the woman for one year; it was a tough process for her and her husband. The last session I had with her, she was sitting in front of me 8 months pregnant after egg donation treatment. She told me how happy she felt. She said the words that I never will forget:
“This pregnancy is a miracle, and now I can finally trust my body again, now I feel whole again”
Tone Bråten
