Many of my patients are frustrated because their partners, friends and family want them to have a break from their fertility treatment. We all want people that are close to us to feel happy, we don’t want to see them sad, or unhappy.
But what can they expect?
When a child is your greatest wish and you have had several failed IVF attempts you are allowed to feel unhappy! This treatment is so important for you, so why take a break from the most important thing in your life; the journey of trying to become a mother?
It is easy for others to suggest a break from fertility treatment! Maybe they want you to think about something else? Maybe, they want you to go back to “normal” and they want you to focus on other parts of your life outside that of becoming a mother? Maybe it is hard for them to support you? Maybe they don’t know how to support you?
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My experience with patients is that it is hard for them to take a break from fertility treatment and now I will tell you why:
- It is possible to have a break from the medical treatment, but you cannot take a break from your motherly instinct, your wish for a child and your dream of becoming a mother. Your thoughts and feelings are still there even if you take a break from fertility treatment itself.
- A break means that it will take longer to reach your goal - you are already ready to become a mother and have been for a long time!
- A break from fertility treatment means that you will get older, the clock is running and you do not want to become an old mother.
- The last thing you want is a break because that will incur more waiting for having a child. Fertility treatment already involves a lot of waiting and you are done with waiting already!
- If you have already experienced a failed IVF attempt it already means a longer waiting time; the wait for the next attempt! It means that this treatment already offers you ‘breaks’.
I hope you will recognize some of these sentences? I hope that these sentences can help you to explain to the people around you that a break from fertility treatment is not a solution that will make you happy. The solution is to become a mother and to get pregnant you need to continue with fertility treatment. To continue treatment you need hope, motivation and support from the closest people around you.
Explain to them why it is hard for you to take a break from fertility treatment and then tell them how they can support you in the future for the better.
Then you will make it easier for them to support you in a better way rather than just telling you to take a break!
I wish you the best of luck!
Tone Bråten
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