Are you the boss in your own life?
Is your unborn child already the boss in your life?
Is the IVF treatment the boss in your life?
Have you become a passenger in your life?
Many of the women I have met in my office suffer from the same problems; they feel that their life has been put on hold and they feel that they have no more energy. They are tired after several failed attempts, they feel frustrated and they don’t know what to do to get their energy back.
Their goal is to finally get pregnant and to become mothers, but the waiting time, the unsureness and the unpredictable of the situation they find themselves in makes them tired. They feel that they no longer have control in their own lives and that in some way they feel they are victims of their own situation. The treatment takes a lot of energy and if they have an exhausting job as well they soon feel tired and have no energy. The job and the treatment suddenly control their lives, they feel they have lost control!
We do not control the fertility treatment, the only thing we can do is to do what the doctor tells us to do. We need to put our trust the clinic and be confident that they will always do their best to make us pregnant.
We do not control the embryo that is transferred, how the embryo will develop is up to nature, destiny, or god; depending on what you believe in.
What you do control is:
- Your activities;
- Who you spend time with so that you can ensure they are the people that will give you energy;
- Your social life and your hobbies.
You decide what to do in your life. You are the boss!
You can never be the boss of egg donation or embryo adoption treatment, so why don’t you start with being the boss over your own life, the parts that you can control and the parts that will give you energy?
Why don’t you spend time focussing on the controllable part of your life? Why not invest in this time and try to give yourself the energy you need before you become a mother?
When we are having a hard time we stop doing the activities we normally love to do. If you like to exercise, travel, spend time with people that understand you — continue to do that! Do whatever gives you energy — you don’t get more pregnant by only focusing on the treatment! So start to take back the control in your life and be the boss!
I know that the child is your goal, but if you cannot control that part why not give yourself a new goal while waiting for your child? Why not concentrate on the goal of peace and on having moments of happiness, using all of the activities, hobbies and people around you to help you reach this new goal.
Stop being a passenger in your own life — You are the boss!
Tone Bråten
